Sometimes it feels like it’s just too much, and it’s easier to numb it all out.
Between juggling work or school, and keeping up with the demands of your family and friends, the pressure to maintain and keep everything under control is overwhelming.
The voice inside your head tells you constantly how big of a screw up you are, how everything is your fault, and that it’ll never be good enough.
Not to mention the memories. No matter how much you try to stop thinking about your past, you can’t shake those memories. They keep playing on a loop inside your brain.
You’ve tried to cope, but haven’t been able to find anything that shuts up your mind for any real amount of time. You can’t really talk to anyone about it – most people you know don’t really know this part of you, because you’ve become so good at keeping your secrets. They wouldn’t get it. It would just be another opportunity to be a disappointment to someone.
So you turn to the only thing that’s ever really worked.
Drugs. Alcohol. Prescriptions. Food. Shopping. Sex.
Anything to help you numb and tune out for awhile so that you can keep on going. Anything to help shut out those memories from your past that keep coming up.
It works great for awhile. And it lets you keep taking care of all the things you need to get done. You’re still going to work or school. You’re still showing up to things; it’s not like you’re cancelling anything or letting anyone down. And, as mentioned above, most people probably have no idea.
Except that you’re tired. You’re tired of feeling like you have to do this just to get through the day. You’re tired of feeling even worse about yourself because of the way you’re coping. It makes you feel weak that you can’t just suck it up and deal.
And so you’ve tried to stop. You’ve tried to face everything head on. You’ve tried to feel and act and be normal… you tried really hard, until you couldn’t do it anymore. All the thoughts and feelings you’ve been suppressing come bubbling to the surface, and they become too much and eventually become unbearable again.
Things can be different.
Therapy can help you figure out how to overcome this cycle of self-loathing thoughts and feelings and self-destructive behaviors. Counseling can help you heal that part of yourself that you’ve been stuffing down and hiding, and it can help you learn how to cope with what’s happened in your life in healthy ways.
It can help you beat the addiction.
If you’re ready, look for the Free Consultation button at the bottom of the page, and let’s talk about how you can take back control.
**Danni Whitehouse is not a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor (LCDC) and cannot provide substance use treatment. Danni can provide therapy that targets root causes of substance use, including trauma, anxiety, depression.**